Right Where I'm Supposed To Be

I have so many things I want to do.

The list is endless really.

I've been accused many times of being flaky, which is a stab and a stab that sometimes really gets to me, to be quite honest.

People who don't know me very well (and sometimes those who should know me best) think I'm flaky, I suppose because I like to talk about my ideas (maybe I shouldn't do that...)

I took their words to heart for a long time, and thought, "I just need to pick something and do it for the rest of my life and never look back," because that's what people told me I needed to do.

Yes, I have a lot of things I want to do...

Open a restaurant

Have a wedding cake/cupcake business

Open a non-profit for feeding/employing the homeless

Go back to school for nursing

Home school my kids

Send my kids to public school

Live inner city and have some sort of ministry for the

homeless/drug addicted/prostituted women there

Own/work at a floral boutique

Combine floral boutique and cake business for one big wedding business

Write a book

I know this sounds like a lot, and I have 

no intention of doing every single thing on that list.

These are dreams.

And here's the thing I understand now:

Dreaming is something God has put in me for the stage of life I'm in right now. He has put these things in my heart for a reason, and who knows, maybe a bunch of them will combine into one big thing, or maybe I will do several of them at different times in my life.

The fact that I have the desire or the thought running through my brain to do these things is okay, unless I never do a single one of them.

 I don't want to be a dreamer and never a doer.

I've known people like that, and they died never accomplishing anything.

So here's the point of all this.

I have weeks, sometimes months where I feel a restlessness inside of me, something that can't be contained or forgotten simply by turning on the TV for distraction. This is one of those weeks.

I've been struggling with myself all week, thinking I want to DO NOW!!

But as I pray about it and talk it out with my husband, I have a realization

that gives me peace once again.

Everything is for a season, and the reason it's okay for my ideas to be sort of all over the place is because

 right now is the baby season of life:)

I have a 15 month old, and another baby girl due in 6 short weeks.

Obviously this isn't the time to jump into trying to open a business!

It is my season to be still and wait upon the Lord.

It's my season to be a good mama to my babies.

And in the moments I have that are quiet, I can think of the possibilities for the years to come.

I have time to pray and seek the Lord's direction, to make a well thought-out plan before jumping into anything.

In fact, the more I've thought about this, the better it is, and I'm okay with people thinking I'm flaky. I'm dreaming of the future,

while enjoying the present.

I'm writing this as a reminder to myself, for times in the near future when I forget that I'm right where I'm supposed to be and 

start getting that restless feeling.

A reminder that God had made it clear several times (why do I constantly forget!) that this is a season to be at home, take care of my baby and pregnant body, and soon another baby (and a post-pregnant body!)

This is a season to grow in my relationship with him, to grow in my knowledge of the Word, and to be a good, supportive wife to my husband (not that those things will ever go out of season!)

So my mind is put back at ease.

 Take care of the things at hand, and know that God has a plan for my life, and as long as I'm diligent to seek after him and his will, I don't have to worry about missing anything!

I am right where I'm supposed to be:)

6 Week Countdown!

This pregnancy has flown by in comparison to my first. I can't believe I'm almost 34 weeks pregnant, which means 6 weeks to go--more or less! 

Less would be nice...not dangerously less of course, but Addison came exactly a week late and that last week was excruciating! 

I would gladly take one or two weeks early, should Lily decide she's tired of being cooped up in there;)

A friend asked me today what my theme/colors are for this baby, 

as I have a baby shower coming up in a week. I had to stop and think about it for awhile.

 This is funny to me because with Addison, I registered when I was 3 months pregnant! I then spend an embarrassing number of hours each week (day?) going through my online registries changing color schemes, adding baby gear I had decided was absolutely crucial (which I probably got none of, and haven't missed either!), and more or less obsessing over every detail of what the nursery would look like, and whether her stroller/car seat/pack n play would all match, and whether her outfits and blankets and hair bows would match all the gear, as well as the walls of the nursery. 

Seriously. I totally admit to this. 

So back to today: I realized I haven't given any of that a second thought. I spent ten minutes at Target and registered for some pacifiers and cozy winter pj's for her a couple of weeks ago, that's it. 

So today I decided to think about it so I could answer my friend, and decided on cream, very light pink, brown, and soft muted little girl colors 

(with Addison I wanted absolutely nothing to do with pink or girly). 

I want flowers on her head, pretty soft cream blankets to wrap her in, and ruffles on her bassinet. 

I have no idea why, this is just how I envision this baby!

Last tidbits on my mind today, thinking about the home stretch of this pregnancy...

it is UNCOMFORTABLE!!

 Sleeping is getting more and more difficult. My poor husband! I toss and turn and kick him when he's in the way of my awkward sleeping position I think I want, which changes every three minutes all night long. I get up to pee at least five times a night, and have to roll out of bed. It's not graceful. Or quiet. But, by 4 a.m., I'm usually so exhausted that I sleep for a couple of uninterrupted hours, which means I sleep through Brad's alarm and don't wake up until he brings me coffee or breakfast on his way out the door to work. I really do feel terrible about this, but don't really know what to do about it! I guess it's just a season...maybe next week I'll have one of those bursts of energy that lasts for awhile. 

That would be so nice! 

Lots more complaints would be completely valid, and fun for me to tell you about, but I'm trying to stay

 positive and I hate whiners, so I'm not gonna be one. (Maybe in a week or two I'll give in!)

To end on a positive note...there is something so absolutely amazing when Lily moves around. Even if it keeps me awake sometimes or she kicks so hard it almost hurts, it is so comforting to know that she's doing good in there, and a constant reminder that there is a little life growing inside me!