Our Long Weekend

I must say, I feel a million times better after this past weekend (which isn't actually over since Brad has today off!) We went for walks with the girls Friday and Saturday, and are going again later today.

Just getting fresh air and sunlight on my face does wonders for me.

It may only be in the upper thirties, but for January where we live, that's definitely cause for some outdoor activity! Friday, Lily slept all cozied up to her daddy and Addison decided to take her nap in the stroller. After a rough start to our long weekend (see previous post!), it was a lovely day!

So after our walk Friday, it was off to the doctor for Addison's 18 month and Lily's 2 month check-up.

I have no words for how bad it went! Oh. My. Gosh. I'm pretty sure we are going to be the dreaded family from now on! Addison was fine until the nurse walked in...at which point, she freaked!

I mean absolute hysterics, uncontrolled sobbing and gasping for air and flailing around. This all for a solid 20 or 30 minutes.  She calmed down for the doctor, but then the nurse came back to give her a couple of routine shots, and she freaked all over again.

(Lily had to get shots too, so we had our hands full with 2 screamos)

Needless to say, they survived and we had a lovely evening together:)

Also on Friday, Lily turned 2 months old...how time is flying with this baby!!!

She is totally a mama's girl, which I love. She just cuddles and cuddles and stares and coos at me all day long. Makes it hard to get a whole lot done, but it's a short season and I'm soaking it up!

Sweet Lily Grace with her favorite outfit! (ok it's my favorite outfit!)

The last two things worth mentioning from this weekend:

First, we did a little life planning last night. I know I know, sounds very dramatic. Life planning.

But it's true. I had really been wanting to discuss some major things and finally pinned Brad down to do it and it was great. I'm writing a separate post about this soon:)

Last but not least...tonight we start Financial Peace with Dave Ramsey.

I don't care for shopping too much, but I suddenly have the urge to go on a massive shopping spree today, eat at a fancy restaurant, and splurge on a giant size of my favorite coffee.

From what I've heard from several people who have already gone through the program,

penny pinching time starts immediately.

I'm semi-serious about wanting to go spend some money before we dive in, but in all seriousness, I'm really excited about getting started. We don't have a ton of debt or anything, but since we're a one-income family, it will be great to learn to stretch our dollar, plan for buying a house, get student loans paid off, start a savings for our kids, etc.

And that ends the long weekend...another short work week for Brad and we head out of town for next weekend...always hard work to leave, but always worth it!

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, and kudos MT for finally giving students the day off and recognizing this important holiday!!

My Mouth Strikes Again:(

I've done it again.

My big, mean, uncontrolled mouth, let loose again,

as always, aimed at the person I love most.

I hate when this happens. I really really hate it.

I want to kill it, destroy it so that it never returns.

I say the most hurtful things out of anger sometimes.

It happened pretty often at the beginning of our marriage; I would get mad during an argument (we like to call it "intense fellowship":)) and my mouth would just fly off the handle. I always regretted it, and would often go to bed crying, even after all was resolved and words forgiven. I just hated this part of me so much!

After two and a half years married, I can definitely say it happens a lot less often, but when it comes, it's still just as nasty.

It comes with no warning, like a train wreck out of no where.

To make matters worse, Brad never, ever retaliates with harsh words or anger whatsoever.

This infuriates me even more sometimes, but in reality, if he did retaliate, it would be a lot worse.

More words spoken on both ends and it wouldn't be pretty.

It's in these situations that come up every few months that I see Christ in him so clearly.

He takes whatever comes at him and refuses to fight. He's calm and dignified,

and then takes the lead in mending things.

I'm not aloud to go to bed angry, or even move on to whatever I need/want to be doing until we have fixed things. Completely fixed, as in forgiven and we're laughing together again. It's always frustrating in the moment...I deal with things by shutting down, which isn't really dealing with them.

I like to avoid conflict or end it abruptly so as not to have to deal with it further.

It's uncomfortable for me. But he forces me out of my comfort zone every single time, and it's making me grow, as a wife, as a person. And I'm always grateful afterwards, because really, I would let the whole day be ruined, but the way things turn out by doing it Brad's way, we can move on with our day with a fresh start, and it's over and resolved in love.

Now why, oh why can't I get control over my mouth!!!!

I guess it's like being a Christian.

If we're truly living for Christ, each year, we should be able to look back over the previous year and see a noticeable difference in our growth in him.

For me, I'm still not near satisfied with where I am as far as my mouth goes (which is, at it's root, a heart issue), but looking over the past year, I've grown.

I'm not saying I'm proud of where I am or that I only let my mouth run wild every few months;

I won't be satisfied until I have self-control in this area and am able to possess the fruits of the spirit (especially patience, gentleness, kindness and self-control) in the midst of a disagreement.
I will not use the excuse that 'bad temper runs in the family and I can't help the way I act'. That's lame.
There is no excuse, but there is the power of prayer, and I know God will help me!
Thank God for that, and for a patient, forgiving husband:)
Today I'm thankful for a new day, a new start, and lovely temperatures (meaning upper 30's) so that we can get outside! I really believe we do so much better as a couple when we aren't all cooped up inside!
We're going for a walk!
Here's to a long weekend!

18 Months

I simply cannot emphasize how much I am loving 18 months!

I know at every stage so far, I've said it's the best, but truly, this is the best!

I am telling you, no other form of entertainment is needed when you have a one-and-a-half year old.

They are hysterical. This girl keeps me laughing constantly.

She has her grumpy moments of course, but all in all, she's such a happy little thing, and such a joy!

Since I am one of those bad moms who doesn't keep a baby book and forgets to write milestones down (and it's not going any better with the second unfortunately!),

this post is mostly for my benefit...

to be able to look back someday and read some of the funny things Addison was doing at this age.

I'll start with the above picture...that would be my stylish baby wearing some sweet pig pj's, my striped headband and of course, sporting a stolen pacifier (Lily's)... Busy pushing her dog 'Scout' in the stroller.

I'm bummed about the quality of these pictures, but I just can't get a good (non-blurry) one of her these days. She won't be still for anything! As you can see though, her absolute favorite activity lately is taking everything out of the tupperware cabinet and getting inside of it. She shuts the door and just peeks out at us every once in awhile.

She is so loving these days! She wasn't a cuddler at all when she was younger, but she loves giving us hugs, which I just soak up since I've felt deprived until now:) She especially likes to love on her little sis...which is so sweet, but sometimes a little scary, especially for Lily I'm sure! She definitely loves her baby sister though:)

I think she's her mama's daughter...she definitely doesn't like getting all bundled up for winter days,

but she tolerates it, especially if she gets to go for a walk on dad's back! Unfortunately it's been waaaay too cold, not to mention icy, to get to go for walks in a few weeks. Hoping for a nice (in the 30s) weekend!!

Some funny things I just want to remember someday...

Walking through any store and Addison yelling at the top of her lungs, while waving frantically, "HI!!!" to any stranger that is in our vicinity.

"Up peese, dow peese...DUP peese!!!" She gets up and down confused, and eventually just combines the words:)

Hey-shew=thank you

Yes mam...said to both Brad and I...lol!

'Reading' books out loud to herself and singing songs in her own made up language.

She's really into spinning and dancing...and a very creative dancer I must say!

Ok I'm out of time for the morning, I could go on and on.

I just don't want to forget these precious moments of hers.

Happy Wednesday! :)

Ugly Old Winter

I would like to believe the weather.com is playing a trick on us, but it's not.

We are to expect 1-2 FEET of snow today/tomorrow. It's sad when they measure in feet, not inches.

It's also sad when you see the (-) sign next to the temperature.

It's forecasts like these that make me forget why we moved here!

We are such outdoor, active people, and we've been stuck indoors for a few months now.

Too cold to take a newborn out, and Addison seems to be constantly on the verge of sick, so I try not to  get her out in the weather too much.

Long story short, I'm beginning to go stir-crazy.

Tired of my complaining yet? Good, me too.

But I just wanted to be real. I don't want to get into the habit of writing to make myself appear as though I don't have any issues, cause I definitely do! And this is one of them!

Let me lay it out: I HATE WINTER.

Always have.

I deal with it as best as I can, but every winter, after all the holidays are over and there are still months to go, I fight sinking into my 'winter sadness.'

I'm definitely doing better the past few years than I used to.

This year has been the best by far...I've just had too much to be thankful for to get sad, plus taking care of two babies doesn't leave me much time for feeling sorry for myself:)

Day before yesterday I had a minor breakdown though. Like I had been bottling up some of my stir-craziness for awhile and I just had to let it out a little. Brad let me vent, and we talked about it, and I felt better, back to being positive about having to deal with 3 or more cold months still ahead of us.

Then, I looked up weather.com and saw what was ahead...Storm Gandolf (since when do we name snow storms like they're hurricanes?)

Gandolf arrived this morning bright (er, dark) and early.

He is bringing with him around 18 inches of snow and temperatures in the balmy -8 range.

Are you kidding me!!!!!

Alright, so obviously my mindset started to go right back south...poor me, stuck inside again, I'll just do some laps around my kitchen island to get out some energy, as if that will make me feel better!

All in all, I've actually had a pretty great day. Granted, this is only day one of like a week straight of single-digit temperatures, but still, a great day is a great day!!

What's my secret, I'm sure you're dying to know?

I listened to uplifting music all morning, read a great passage in the Bible that I don't remember ever reading before and that the Lord used to speak to me this morning, did a little spring cleaning, and baked brownies for the ladies at Brad's school who threw us a baby shower yesterday.

I tell ya, cleaning out the spice cabinet was a real mood lifter! Haha, actually I'm serious. Something about deep cleaning my house makes me happy.

Here's the bit of Bible I read this morning:

Psalm 18:16-19

He reached down from on high and took hold of me;

he drew me out of deep waters.

He rescued me from my powerful enemy (the winter blues),

from my foes, who were too strong for me.

They confronted me in the day of my disaster, 

but the Lord was my support.

He brought me out into a spacious place;

he rescued me because he delighted in me.

I know this may seem a bit dramatic a passage for my being a little sad.

But as much as I joke about it, it really is something that seems to have a stronghold on me every Jan/Feb/March, and it has a negative effect not only on me, but my whole family.

I want to take it seriously and fight it. It truly is my enemy, but I am confident that God can and will rescue me from it this year.

One more thing I meditated on was that 'In the presence of the Lord is fullness of joy.'

(paraphrased from Psalm 16:11)

The more we walk with God, all day long, not just first thing in the morning, the deeper our joy is rooted. I found that to be so true today.

When I focus on the Lord first, followed by my babies, my husband, and those around me, it really doesn't leave a lot of room for sadness or depression to creep in.

Here's our next two days, get excited!

FriJan 11

8^°

-7^°

Snow Shower

CHANCE OF SNOW:

100%

 

WIND:

NNW at 11 mph

Details

SatJan 12

11^°

-3^°

Mostly Sunny

CHANCE OF SNOW:

0%

 

WIND:

W at 9 mph

Details

Waiting

It's 6:30 in the morning, I have my coffee and computer in the bed, the house is perfectly quiet,
the perfect conditions for writing, which I've been wanting to do because I've had a lot on my mind...
and my mind has gone blank!!
Does that ever happen to you? You have so many things swimming around in your thoughts that when you go to talk about it, or write it down or whatever your mode of processing is, you go blank?
Frustrating. It's what happens to me when I do my Bible study devotions, get spiritually spanked at church Sunday morning, eavesdrop on the pod cast my husband is listing to, and read too much John Piper. I get overwhelmed and instead of processing and growing, I shut down.
But I'm going to sip my peppermint mocha and pray awhile and wake up fully and we'll see what happens:)
.......
And now Lily Grace is awake, so I maybe I'll write tonight sometime!
.......
8:00, Lily is back asleep and Addison is awake but happily talking to herself in her crib, so I have roughly 20 minutes...
My brain is still swimming with too many fish, but I've at least narrowed it down to what I want to focus on today.

Yesterday in Bible study, we talked about 'rain' and 'deserts'.
Rain, as in when you can totally feel God in your life...you are sure of his presence with you...he is speaking into your heart, maybe calling you to something great...you see him easily as you look at a beautiful sunrise...the Word is alive to you and speaks directly to your heart.
Then, there is the desert...when God feels like he's suddenly dropped out of the picture...you feel like you messed up one to many times and he's left you...the thing he called you to do you start questioning: was it really from God, or just your imagination...you feel dried up spiritually...your faith is weak because you can't feel God with you.

Here's what really spoke to my heart:
We all have a high calling. God has a great purpose for every single one of his children.
He will, at some point in our life, reveal that calling to us...most likely during a period in our life when it's 'raining'. Maybe he will give us a specific idea of what that is, maybe vague, but we will feel inspired and excited...and then comes the desert.
Where did he go? Was all of that real?
Yes! That's what I learned yesterday. Yes, it was, and is real.
He reveals a purpose for us, and then often times sends us to the desert, where we are refined and molded to best fulfill his purpose for us.
It is in the desert that faith becomes real. It's easy to have faith when God feels so near us, but when he seems distant, our faith is put to the test and we have the opportunity to grow.

I am encouraged, personally.
This past summer, I had huge dreams that I truly felt were from the Lord.
I was inspired. It wasn't a crystal clear picture, but ideas that were exciting.
Then came the season of taking care of a newborn and a one-year-old...and suddenly my ideas seem like a distant past and I question if it was God at all.

Now I think I understand.
It was God. And God is still there. It's time for me to wait. Wait on him.
Whether it lasts one year or five (or more!), this is a time for me to let him do what he needs to do in my life. To prepare me for whatever the future holds. I have to have faith that the ideas he put on my heart are still a reality, but that they will be in God's perfect timing, not mine.
I hope this is encouragement for someone else out there going through a desert...take heart! God is as close to you as ever:) Press on, even if you can't 'feel' him. He's there.

The Past Week in Pictures